16th February, 2003. 7:15 pm. Party Girl
This is what happens when i go to a party; I watch everyone and sit in my judgement and try to seclude myself as much as possible and end up writing. im just your regular social butterfly, a downright party girl! this is what i wrote of my expericence of a typical high school party:
As I sit here right inbetween these walls lined sitch scum in such compressed matter there are only three thigns on my mind.
1. i am so glad that I am not in that position, so glad that I am not them.
2. Apathy; a type of sadness grows inside me when I see and interact with these waisted youth.
I will not partake in the drinking festivities tonight, or at all for that matter.
Theres something that contributes to the sadness of the room, along the lines of a substance.
The bodies begin to mimic the empty bottles. Washed themselves down with the smirnoff. They must be puking up their souls, personality traits. Everything. Pissing it all away too. And who wouldnt want that???
I must be crazy then to not want it.
Oh but they're having a blast Im sure. It's quite a shame Im missing out. What a misfortune.
They look at the bottle and see packaged careless fun. All I see through the glass is self induces liver failure in a can.
I see these empty bodies manuvering about. So empty and cold. Droning, talking, they aren't REALLY there. Droning, then drowing. Laughing, and falling.
I am chlausterphobic. LET ME OUT OF THIS PLACE I AM OUT OF PLACE.
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31st January, 2003. 4:33 pm. one more thing
31st January, 2003. 4:20 pm. its that time of year again
time to update this journal. it would be so much easier if i had events to talk about, but my life decided its going to take a ephemeral delay.
today is friday which would mean that the weekend is starting. afterschool I dropped ana and chris off to meet lucas and I went home. Im about to go to an interview to work at a vet hospitol even though I know that i will get the job, only because my sister worked there. Is that unjust? maybe.
Tonight I will be attending NA. yes. hello my name is julie and i am a heroin addict.
Exept that Im not.
Yesterday Me Monica Ana Julian and Lindsey all went down to the San Jose/ Campbell / and Cupertino area to look at a store called Gothic. Then we went to Monsters Of Rock which is like phatty zone but twice as big. I purchased a captive ring and later on Julian pierced me.
The funniest part was disinfecting the piercing needle because it pierced Sheryl the biggest whore on the planet. I wasnt about to get an Std so we filled the sink up with alcohol and dropped the needle in and then dropped a match in it. And the whole sink went up in flames.
The process was repeated several times just to make sure.
The other funny thing was that It took three and a half hours to get to those two stores and back.
What else is new? Nothign that springs to mind right now. Later.
24th January, 2003. 4:51 pm.
i never finished what i was saying about the prison system. our school has to cut down several million dollars because gray davis wants more money for the jail. and they only put people in there for stupid reasons. My peer's perfect little lives, which revolve around sports and stuff, are crumbling down. and its beautiful. I really coudlnt give a shit if they take away all electives and extra curriculars. so apparently, its going to be pretty near in the future where we only have Math, Science, History, and English. No AP classes, no sports, no art, no drama. nothing. and I dont care.
Ahnyways last night was the dead kennedys show. Texas Thieves, The Cliftons, The Fuzz, and Grint played short sets too. I had a pretty good time. I met lots of cool people. I got bruised. I went moshing. And thats about all.
Wow i suddenly lost all intrest in writing. im getting off. byebye.
18th January, 2003. 6:10 pm. have you ever noticed
that only the good people get locked up while all the bad evil ones are roaming the streets?
why is that? why do they waste 1000's of dollars on people who have never hurt anyone. MY friend amanda is in jail, just because her mom beat her so she needed to runaway a few times. And SHE is the one who gets locked away.
Josh is in prison, why? because he went to go see his dad for christmas, for the first time in 10 YEARS. Just because he went to LA.
And now the government is waisting billions of dollars for these good people who never did anything bad. WE citizens are the ones that pay with out hard earned money to keep the good people in jail.
This system, sucks.
18th January, 2003. 5:59 pm. 5 day break!
And it is day 2 of my 5 day break. What have I accomplisheD? nothing really. yesterday, nothing at all I dont believe I even left my house. Oh yes I did! i went to the dentist!
Today I went to work. Works sucks, My hours hella suck, the customers suck even more dirty cock, but the employees and manager are really cool.
After work I go to the parking lot to find Sam in my car. We just chil there for a while working on art stuff. She stole this really cool art set from next door so I drew a rainbowy fairy and clown. Then out of nowhere John pulls up. He was going to get some nachos from Taco Bell so me and Samantha volunteer to go get them for him. So first we went to Johns house and he gave us Josh's keys. He went back tothe parking lot to wait for us with Mark, and me and samantha go to where Joshs car is parked to get my sleeping bag out. Then we have the wonderful idea of driving his Phat pimp ass 1980 Caddy Deville with a kick ass sound system. PAssingg about 5 cops on the way made us really ancy, driving a stolen car without a license. bad idea. But we made it to taco bell arlight but we accidently eat Johns Nachos. Then we doint know what to do, we cant go back without the nachos and no money. So we stop by robbys house and he gives us a dollar and then the three of us go back to Taco Bell. WE get the nachos, and we make sure to not even have one. Then we go back to pick up my car. We take some pictures and the nachos are set on top of the car. I let sam drive my car and then the nachos get run over. We go back to get them but they are splattered on San Antonio. We go back to meet John, but its been 2 and a half hours since we left. So hes not there anymore.
Ive let down a friend today. Then I came home we just chilled in the driveway like usual. I guess thats the only exciting thing that happened today. Now I am at home. doing nothing.
i will go do nothing elsewear. byebye.
arent we just so smart?
10th January, 2003. 8:00 pm. Wowzer!!
Today has sucked.All ive been doing lately is coming home from school and falling asleep on the couch and waking up at like 9. Its friday night and here i am doing nothing. Today was the last day of the semester. I did GOOD. A- in math, A- in english, A- photo, and i dont know about anything else.
I think that my friends should stop getting locked up. Josh just got locked up AgAin, i dont know why this time and so did Amanda. I think that we are all going to put money together to get some bail. Samantha is saying that she is going to sell josh's caddy.
Aww i miss my friends. I saw josh that morning before his court sleeping in front of the school. Even though he says it sucks it looks like its fun to be homeless. I remember he lived in my car for a month until my mom finally realized it and then she started going crazy and freaking out and throwing all of the blankets and sheets in a big puddle of mud. quite a site.
what else is new? im just trying to get my mind off of someone. bah! man if i write one more pointless entry like this then im going to kick myself. I hate the meaningless things i ramble out because i usually am thinking about more deep things. yea. byebye.
2nd January, 2003. 6:11 pm. no news is good news
or so they say. well break is almost over. i dont even know where it went. i barely have accoplished anything, actually i havent. i havent even left my house exept to go work. ok thats not true, but most of the time i was chilling at home or at someone elses house. i still have a lot of homework to do, but why do now what you can put off til tomorw?
today i got to sleep in until 1 ( a first for me, i havent woken up past 7 since the summer because of work )and i went to blockbuster. nothing over there besides over priced movies. thats why i steal from there and everyone asks me why. 5 dollars for one rental? they are ripping us off. some people dont get that. and its all profit. they buy movies for 5 dollars.
anyways, then i went to jamba juice to pick up a drink and a paycheck. how fun. then i went to safeway. bumped into mike and lucas, they invited me to a party tonight, and then a couple minutes later i bumped into regina and amanda.
i just got back from taking my sister to the movie. amanda should be coming over here at 7 so we can go to that party. ugh my mom is making me come home at 9! shes such a bitch. im seventeen years old already and i have a curfew. its ridiculous. oh well. this is what sneaking out is for.
and besides that, my nose HURTS and it is going to fall off. yes thats all. byebye
27th December, 2002. 7:37 pm. heres an example of a bad idea
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sitting in a car at 11 o clock at night. it is dark. you want to get your helix pierced ( cartilige right above the tragus)you have to be at work in 5 minutes. ''lets do this fast.'' oh but theres no light. the car light is broken. ''lets do it anyways.'' the car is cramped with 5 people. theres almost no room to move around. your in the drivers seat and the people in the back bust out their lighters and put it to your ear, almost burning it. the piercing will take place by fire light. might i mention that everyone in this particular car is baked. then the needle drives through your skin. you hear an aweful sound and then the pain hits you. afer many many many ill fated attempts to get the jewelery through the hole which is bigger then the jewlery, the mission is aborted. half of your face is covered in blood. the piercers hands are also in blood. everythings a mess. it ended up being a prison piercing. then you go to work, your ear and cheek blood red.
a week goes by, and your ear feels like its in remnance. you also noticed that you lost feeling in a small section around the whole. theres still a mark, as it is not healing properly.
and that my friends is my piercing experience.
and the worst part is, i didnt even get my pearcing. i wanted a rinng through the hole, not just a hole.